Jake Piper's second law requires a bit of thinking.

Infinitely accurate time.

So time could be e^3 days, etc.

Jake Piper's third law is extremely simple.

Just remember it.

A condition resulting in a vast amount of excess forskin collecting at the tip of a gentelman's penis...may smell as a consequence of the cheesey deposit found under the skin

Flush the toilet the instant you sit down and poop before the water leaves.

Somebody who pees standing up and their piss gets all over the seat and floor.