A sex positionin which the woman inserts her long hair into the man’s urethra while singing catholic hymns
Hey Patricia lets do some of the Jesus tonight if you know what I mean..
by NerdyMofo25737 May 4, 2020
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The legendary sexual act in which you need 4 girls to do. 1 is riding, 1 on your face, 1 hand is fingering a girl and the other hand is doing the same. Legs are in a straight out together and your arms are spread out so your body is in the formation of a cross. THE JESUS.
Dude last night was so wild, I did the Jesus on these girls.

Last night was legendary, I jesused these 4 girls.
by Keffery D October 31, 2013
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When you are nailing a girl in the butt standing up and you hold her arms outsrtretched like she is on the cross. She must then say CRUSIFY ME BABY!
Alan: I was nailing kathryn last night and we switched positions and i started doing the jesus.

Marc: what did she say?

Alan:CRUSIFY ME BABY!

Marc: WOAH nice you get bonus points!
by XC Liberty League September 22, 2009
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The legendary and incomprehensibly dumb act of consuming Bacardi 151 and then using tequila as a chaser. The term "The Jesus" derived from an urban legend that a student at UC Irvine named Jesus wanted to get himself and his guy friend really drunk by taking shots of 151 and chasing it with tequila, so they could try the Arabian Goggles on each other with no shame whatsoever.
Joe: Yo I'm REALLY horny right now! Let's get really trashed by doing The Jesus and then do the teabag on each other.

SJ: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww that's gross you sick bastard!
Tequila is soooooooo disgusting! Let's just do the teabag without doing The Jesus!

Joe: Ok
by UCI_Pwns August 8, 2007
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Looking like Jesus when jumping off a platform on Nickelodeon GUTS.
HOLY SHIT!!! Did you just see that cunt doing "THE JESUS"??
by Bob Tibbles November 24, 2006
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Jesus will be the best person you will ever meet. He loves to talk to anyone who is feeling down and will comfort you when you need it. If you see one tell them they are the best person ever. He will always love you no matter what. If you date one. He will never cheat on you. Even though some of you disagree. He loves to talk to anyone. Always loves to meet people. Also, he is very smart in math. He loves people who are very generous. He hates people who always think who is always right. He thinks that every girl is beautiful no matter how ugly you look.
Jesus said to Maria you look amazing today.
by I am not going to tell you September 10, 2018
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