Dude, she wanted me to intoduce her to my family. NO GIFTS.

"my brothers neighbors wife is a gift...."

"Whats that?"

A grandma I'd fuck twice....

you don't have to get me anything for my birthday, you're the gift

I knew she was a pile of shit when she spit my gift out in the sink. I said bitch, you keep my gift.

Don’t trust a german to get you a gift for your birthday.

Oh man I'm feeling pretty crazy after snorting all of those gifts.

Did you get the gifts I sent you?
I love these gifts.
I saw the best gifts today on Tumblr.
I want to thank everyone for these delightful gifts.