Top definition
Uncomplimentary term that is muttered by resentful residents/visitors of nursing homes where they feel that the establishment’s “rules ‘n’ regulations” are so overzealously enforced/adhered to, unnecessarily dictatorial, etc., that it makes everyone feel as if they are actually being poisoned by the rules. The expression derives from the “top nine” most notorious rules that --- due to the rules’ restricting/forbidding “totally harmless” actions that really would not bother anything if all parties involved practice moderation and maintain appropriate/responsible behavior --- cause needless difficulties and stifled feelings among the residents and their friends/family members who come to see them.
The “strict-9” at many of the snooty “big-city” nursing homes:
(1) No visitors before 9 A.M. or after 10 P.M.
(2) No visitor is permitted to stay overnight with a resident, even if said visitor is a quiet responsible adult family member or trusted friend with a 100% clean criminal record.
(3) No visitors may use the facility’s parking lots to sleep in their cars overnight, even if it’s just for one night, if said visitors are totally quiet and responsible, and if the parking lot is otherwise empty/unused all night.
(4) No visitors are permitted to take showers, brush teeth, or otherwise make use of a resident’s washroom except to merely “answer a call of nature”, even if the resident does not mind, and if the visitor would be neat and expedient about using said washroom.
(5) No resident may leave the facility grounds unless accompanied by a staffperson, even if said resident is in the company of an immediate family member or trusted friend.
(6) No resident may be left unattended outside of the facility building, even if it’s just for a moment to allow a visitor to go use the restroom or retrieve something from his car.
(7) No resident is permitted pets of any kind, even “quiet” and “tidy” creatures such as tropical fish or small birds.
(8) All residents must have their meals in the cafeteria; eating meals in rooms is forbidden.
(9) Sharing/exchanging food with your “cafeteria neighbors” is prohibited, even if said food would otherwise just be thrown away and wasted.
(1) No visitors before 9 A.M. or after 10 P.M.
(2) No visitor is permitted to stay overnight with a resident, even if said visitor is a quiet responsible adult family member or trusted friend with a 100% clean criminal record.
(3) No visitors may use the facility’s parking lots to sleep in their cars overnight, even if it’s just for one night, if said visitors are totally quiet and responsible, and if the parking lot is otherwise empty/unused all night.
(4) No visitors are permitted to take showers, brush teeth, or otherwise make use of a resident’s washroom except to merely “answer a call of nature”, even if the resident does not mind, and if the visitor would be neat and expedient about using said washroom.
(5) No resident may leave the facility grounds unless accompanied by a staffperson, even if said resident is in the company of an immediate family member or trusted friend.
(6) No resident may be left unattended outside of the facility building, even if it’s just for a moment to allow a visitor to go use the restroom or retrieve something from his car.
(7) No resident is permitted pets of any kind, even “quiet” and “tidy” creatures such as tropical fish or small birds.
(8) All residents must have their meals in the cafeteria; eating meals in rooms is forbidden.
(9) Sharing/exchanging food with your “cafeteria neighbors” is prohibited, even if said food would otherwise just be thrown away and wasted.
by QuacksO August 30, 2013
Apr 27 Word of the Day
A horoscope so bad that it strikes fear into the heart of the reader, rendering them unable take action or make a decision on anything or to even leave the house. This is caused by a paralyzing fear that those actions or decisions may cause the predictions to come true.
After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.
Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
by Edward Albee Deavers April 28, 2011