"The problem with rescuing baby birds is that it's very hard to get them to eat properly. You have to chop 'em up worms, which they don't want to eat. Which I quite understand because they look and smell awful, writhing on a spoon like spastic spaghetti (spazghetti?)"

"OMG IM GONNA FAIL MY TEST AND MY PARENTS R GONNA KILL ME AND IM GONNA GET GROUNDED AND-"
"-hey, hey HEY."
"what?"
"WOOOOSAHHHH"