Spaceship Jesus controls everything! Created with a gathering of theories based on Christianity, paranoia, benzo withdrawl & Netflix, this new-found comical theory, states that BOTH spaceships and Jesus will be seen during the end of times.
Christian aspect:
Jesus saves his people from the tribulation, destroys the wicked, & ushers in an age of peace; after the age of peace, there is a second, brief time of trouble which results in the permanent banishment of the wicked. - Wikipedia
Alien aspect:
As our planet becomes closer to the Sun or Solar Flares, in 2012 scientists will reveal that.. it's over! Signs include OCD number writing, being Nicholas Cage & seeing aliens. There's no escaping our doomed fate!
Trials & Tribulations started in '04 when Paris Hilton's sex tape was released. On a mission for survival, Will Ferrel & Brennan Fraisier went to a diner to force all the devil worshipers & meth cooks to save the world by proving that both the The Center of the Earth and the Land of the Lost are REAL so humans could live there till Spaceship Jesus comes! They found an unwed pregnant woman at the diner & decided to make her baby the future of the human race. She ran for the door, but Betty White went nuts & crawled on the ceiling, & she was forced to go with them. None of them have been seen since, but at worst, they go into a volcano & are fed to dinosaurs.
Christian aspect:
Jesus saves his people from the tribulation, destroys the wicked, & ushers in an age of peace; after the age of peace, there is a second, brief time of trouble which results in the permanent banishment of the wicked. - Wikipedia
Alien aspect:
As our planet becomes closer to the Sun or Solar Flares, in 2012 scientists will reveal that.. it's over! Signs include OCD number writing, being Nicholas Cage & seeing aliens. There's no escaping our doomed fate!
Trials & Tribulations started in '04 when Paris Hilton's sex tape was released. On a mission for survival, Will Ferrel & Brennan Fraisier went to a diner to force all the devil worshipers & meth cooks to save the world by proving that both the The Center of the Earth and the Land of the Lost are REAL so humans could live there till Spaceship Jesus comes! They found an unwed pregnant woman at the diner & decided to make her baby the future of the human race. She ran for the door, but Betty White went nuts & crawled on the ceiling, & she was forced to go with them. None of them have been seen since, but at worst, they go into a volcano & are fed to dinosaurs.
The aliens will be able to pass through the thin walls of our parallel universes, escape Area 51 & only take 1 man, give him a brain & the power to deceive us promising the answers to all unknown things. He will disguise himself as Jesus, but he won't even have a spaceship! He will in fact be the Antichrist, ultimate manipulator, Tom Cruise.
They will then invade Earth disguised as "a massive dying of birds" looking for the chosen one; the most powerful person on the planet, Oprah. Together, Tom Cruise & the demon bird aliens use her human body as a host and form the Earth version of Satan. Then the battle begins.
In 2011 durring an ice storm in Kettering, Ohio we witnessed Spaceship Jesus RSVP, telling us the end was near! Bright colorful lights, followed by frozen flood covered streets, as we sat in our houses. No power, internet or Netflix. Just suffering, chatting with our loved ones without distractions, in misery for 72 hours.
That night was never revealed. They called it "power outages" & "cracked potheads". DP&L, Channel 2 news, & a kid from Kroger who recorded the chaos at the substation all covered it up. Why? Because they're all ILLUMINATI!
The message was clear that night & was decoded by "American Psychic" John Edwards being simply this: be astronauts, look for Jesus riding on a spaceship, hear the dead communicate through me, get off or ON drugs, & finally, get a life & stop watching so much tv!
lol :P
(not to be taken litteral)
They will then invade Earth disguised as "a massive dying of birds" looking for the chosen one; the most powerful person on the planet, Oprah. Together, Tom Cruise & the demon bird aliens use her human body as a host and form the Earth version of Satan. Then the battle begins.
In 2011 durring an ice storm in Kettering, Ohio we witnessed Spaceship Jesus RSVP, telling us the end was near! Bright colorful lights, followed by frozen flood covered streets, as we sat in our houses. No power, internet or Netflix. Just suffering, chatting with our loved ones without distractions, in misery for 72 hours.
That night was never revealed. They called it "power outages" & "cracked potheads". DP&L, Channel 2 news, & a kid from Kroger who recorded the chaos at the substation all covered it up. Why? Because they're all ILLUMINATI!
The message was clear that night & was decoded by "American Psychic" John Edwards being simply this: be astronauts, look for Jesus riding on a spaceship, hear the dead communicate through me, get off or ON drugs, & finally, get a life & stop watching so much tv!
lol :P
(not to be taken litteral)
by TheTardish March 1, 2011
A woman who has no apparent ethnicity. Since an ethnicity can not be determined, one is to assume that the woman was born on a spaceship.
There is no geographical location on earth that produces woman that look like her, she is clearly a spaceship baby.
by ArnoldsMind November 5, 2014
by BIC38 September 26, 2015
One with a face that goes ~wamb~ like the front of an airplane or, spaceship, in it's aerodynamicy and shape. A Janet de Spaceship moved easily through air currents, although some of her extremities limit her flow. These extremities sometimes include sirens, hair, rockets, fat rolls, bracelets, and sometimes wheels. The face is accentuated by a large nasal horn, or sometimes, cavity which radiates bitchiness and retardedness.
A 'Janet de Spaceship' is usually a drunk whore.
A 'Janet de Spaceship' is usually a drunk whore.
"That chick's nose is ****ing huge, she looks like a Janet de Spaceship."
"You're too drunk, Janet, let's get you back to your spaceship."
"You're too drunk, Janet, let's get you back to your spaceship."
by alliegeealleasy April 8, 2010
Kathy Johnson, 8, Third Grade
"The Roughy Rough and Tough Spaceship soars to all the planets in five minutes each. It can ruin any crater in it's path. It can take samples of the air, and 5,000 people can fit in it. It can also capture the Martians and aliens. It can go to heaven and steal the clouds. It can go to "Planet X" and "The Monkey Planet" with insane monkeys. The monkeys and "Monkey Planet" travel to Earth and get all the bananas in the world."
Is from a newspaper article and was posted on the Gamefaqs Message Board LUE
"The Roughy Rough and Tough Spaceship soars to all the planets in five minutes each. It can ruin any crater in it's path. It can take samples of the air, and 5,000 people can fit in it. It can also capture the Martians and aliens. It can go to heaven and steal the clouds. It can go to "Planet X" and "The Monkey Planet" with insane monkeys. The monkeys and "Monkey Planet" travel to Earth and get all the bananas in the world."
Is from a newspaper article and was posted on the Gamefaqs Message Board LUE
by faceguydude April 21, 2004
Good girls can be bad bitches too
by Djskeetboogie June 23, 2022