First, dial your drug dealer. Buy an eight ball of cocaine. Now. Travel to a house party and quickly chug eight beers wile staring intimidatingly at the guy next to you. Begin searching the household for the first girl who has to fart. Direct her into your friends bedroom. Tell her to lie on her face, pull her pants down, and to not scream as you sprinkle cocaine in and around her balloon knot like she was a funnel cake. Directing her to hold her flatulent in until further instruction, place your left nostril over the dusted starfish. Loudly and confidently demand she release her gas on the count of three. Upon feeling the anal spincter release tone, inhale through your nose. You just snortched that shit.

A Bloomer is someone with a bright outlook on life who is optimistic in nature. Bloomer's frolic in every opportunity to be happy and try to make the most out of life. The opposite of a Bloomer is a Doomer. The term Bloomer originated specifically as a counter to the Doomer on sites especially like 4Chan.

Snortch, to gain or achieve something

When you wear a new pair of boxers for the first time and you get little lint balls stuck in your ass hairs.