Dick: "fuckin' hell Harry you mucky sod, tell me you didnt end up shaggin' that mingin' old horrorshow you pulled last night?"

Harry: "mate- soon as i caught a whiff of that battered old sniper's elbow, I was out of there like shit off a shovel!"

Wife: “Have you put the sheets out to dry and put the towels on?”
Husband: “Yes. You know I am a grown adult also used to live alone so you do not need to micro marrige me”