A Smellan is a curious creature, only found at the rarest of times. She is defined by a massive smile (some would say a shit eating grin) and bubbly personality. She can't stick to fad diets because shiny things distract her. The only thing that distracts her more is a Farmer. She is a good cook and knows her ability in the Kitchen extends to the bedroom.

It’s an acronym standing for Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing. It’s usually used to describe embarrassment at being unable to remember someone (CRAFT moment); going onstage as the lead in the latest theatrical performance and your mind goes completely blank (CRAFT situation); the next morning after a night when you got pissed as a fart and woke up in bed cuddling a traffic cone and a string of fairy lights wound round your prick.