A shit that looks like a long, thick, brown thing that looks like a weasel

Someone who kisses up to People in hopes of getting special treatment is referred to as a shit weasel. Literally, a shit weasel rims with such enthusiasm that, well lets just say some things are best not said... Basically calling someone a shit weasel is like calling them an ass kisser, brown noser, etcetera, but moreso.