"I heard about the shutdown.. so you're on vacation, right?" "This sequesterfuck is no vacation, man. I'm worried about my bills. I don't know when it's going to end. I have no control over it. And when I go back, I'll have to work tons of extra hours just to fix all the shit that happened while I was gone."

Wife: “Have you put the sheets out to dry and put the towels on?”
Husband: “Yes. You know I am a grown adult also used to live alone so you do not need to micro marrige me”