(a) describing someone who is lazy
(b) someone who is a poohface
(c) the crabbiest person in the entire world
(d) a person that HATES Louisiana State University

A jack off buddy (from 'cum' /'come', meaning 'semen', and 'companion'); a friend that you get together with for sessions of solo or mutual masturbation
Variant of: cumpanion (from 'companion' & 'cum'); jack off buddy & wank bud & JO buddy
Similar to: fuck buddy