"The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based" (Ambrose Bierce. The Devil's Dictionary. 1911.).

when you're hungover as shit after a spending a night drunk as a skunk

See scriptures

"Scriptures" or "Scripture"(both can be used as plural depending on context) is a term which means an money(of an indefinite amount). A "bible"(a stack of money) is made up of scriptures.