by Gareth Priest November 27, 2006
A man was riding a mule along a steep mountain trail. Suddenly, a cougar darted in front of him. The mule spooked, pitched him from the saddle, and ran further down the trail, taking the man's gun, gps beacon, and supplies with it. The man tried to run, but found that his ankle was broken. He attempted to back away, instead, but his ankle collapsed on some loose stones and he fell backwards toward the precipice, catching himself at the last moment on some old tree roots. As he hung there, with the cougar pawing at the gravel above him and the roots beginning to come free of the rocky soil, he saw a bright cluster of wild berries just within reach. In despair, the man leaned out, grabbed a handful and began chewing on them -- to his surprise, they were wonderfully sweet! Savoring their taste, the man decided that he had, by all rights, lived a good life, and he braced himself for the worst.
Suddenly, the cougar pounced! The man jerked back, and to his amazement, the cougar sailed past him, lost its footing on the slope it had aimed for, and plummeted to the canyon floor far beneath. A cascade of tiny stones followed the big cat, and larger stones followed those. The man looked around and realized that a larger set of tree roots had been revealed beneath the shifting stone. He wiped his free hand, reached out, and got a secure grip. Within a minute, he was back on the trail. As he was catching his breath, he saw his slightly skittish mule trotting back down the path, heading for home. He whistled, bringing it back to him. He made a quick splint for his ankle and threw himself back into the saddle.
A few hours later, he was back at his campsite, where he told his fellow campers one of the most amazing stories they had ever heard. The man ate a hearty meal, took some aspirin for his ankle and his nerves, and went to sleep in his tent, anxious for the morning ride back to civilization.
He never woke up. The berries he ate were poisonous.
---
Whatever you are thinking, you haven't found the worst case scenario yet. Don't pretend that you have.
Suddenly, the cougar pounced! The man jerked back, and to his amazement, the cougar sailed past him, lost its footing on the slope it had aimed for, and plummeted to the canyon floor far beneath. A cascade of tiny stones followed the big cat, and larger stones followed those. The man looked around and realized that a larger set of tree roots had been revealed beneath the shifting stone. He wiped his free hand, reached out, and got a secure grip. Within a minute, he was back on the trail. As he was catching his breath, he saw his slightly skittish mule trotting back down the path, heading for home. He whistled, bringing it back to him. He made a quick splint for his ankle and threw himself back into the saddle.
A few hours later, he was back at his campsite, where he told his fellow campers one of the most amazing stories they had ever heard. The man ate a hearty meal, took some aspirin for his ankle and his nerves, and went to sleep in his tent, anxious for the morning ride back to civilization.
He never woke up. The berries he ate were poisonous.
---
Whatever you are thinking, you haven't found the worst case scenario yet. Don't pretend that you have.
by Alfred F. May 05, 2008
Meeting a cute girl who seems like she's into you only to be completely turned off from her upon reading that she describes herself as a "jesus freak" on her facebook/myspace.
dude1: "Hey man, how's it going with that chick you've had your eye on for a while?"
dude2: "total jesus freak scenario man. don't bring that shit up"
dude2: "total jesus freak scenario man. don't bring that shit up"
by asdfasdf212 September 27, 2011
1. A situation in which breasts may present themselves, leading to a night that cannot be improved (breast-wise).
2. A set of breasts that cannot be improved (surgery or otherwise).
2. A set of breasts that cannot be improved (surgery or otherwise).
Jeremy: How did that hott, tasty piece turn out last night?
Robb: We went back to my place; it was a total breast-case scenario.
Corlin: Did you see that babe walk by just now?
Robb: I know: total breast-case scenario!
Robb: We went back to my place; it was a total breast-case scenario.
Corlin: Did you see that babe walk by just now?
Robb: I know: total breast-case scenario!
by Robb the Knob 937 February 04, 2010
A situation in which a friend hides in fear while another friend is, either figuratively or literally, backed into a corner and butt-raped by Middle Easterners. The term refers to the memorable conflict from the novel "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini.
(In Gears of War 3) "Ben, where the hell were you?! I was shooting one of the berserkers with a scorcher, and then the second berserker came in and wrecked my shit while you were hiding! Stop putting me in Kite Runner Scenarios!"
"Way to go, man. You know that you ate Chris's sandwich but when he asked about it, you made it into a total Kite Runner Scenario.
"Way to go, man. You know that you ate Chris's sandwich but when he asked about it, you made it into a total Kite Runner Scenario.
by CommanderPoopyPants October 12, 2011
A Guitar Hero Scenario when two or more people, preferably a couple are having an arguement.
Then in the middle of the conversation one(normally the male) will offer to play a game of Guitar Hero.
Normally when this happens the other person will either.
A) Break Up With You
B) Leave Angrily
C) Tell You To Leave
Or
D) Play Guitar Hero(very Unlikely)
The Guitar Hero Scenario is also Related to
The Tetris Scenario
The Halo Scenario
The Wii Sports Scenario
and
The Luigi's Mansion Scenario
Then in the middle of the conversation one(normally the male) will offer to play a game of Guitar Hero.
Normally when this happens the other person will either.
A) Break Up With You
B) Leave Angrily
C) Tell You To Leave
Or
D) Play Guitar Hero(very Unlikely)
The Guitar Hero Scenario is also Related to
The Tetris Scenario
The Halo Scenario
The Wii Sports Scenario
and
The Luigi's Mansion Scenario
Diane-I Can't Beleive You Deleted Me On Facebook!
William-I Can't Beleive You Wanted To Pose For Playboy, Your Not Even Hot!!
Diane-Thats Not What Your Dad Said!
William-Wanna Play Guitar Hero?
Diane-Um No!! What A Stupid Question, I'm Going To My Mothers, I Will Pick My Stuff Up In The Morning!
William-I Think I Just Got 100% On Purple Haze On Medium, Oh Nevermind, Thats 10%
Diane-I Can't Beleive You Tried The Guitar Hero Scenario!!
William-I Can't Beleive You Wanted To Pose For Playboy, Your Not Even Hot!!
Diane-Thats Not What Your Dad Said!
William-Wanna Play Guitar Hero?
Diane-Um No!! What A Stupid Question, I'm Going To My Mothers, I Will Pick My Stuff Up In The Morning!
William-I Think I Just Got 100% On Purple Haze On Medium, Oh Nevermind, Thats 10%
Diane-I Can't Beleive You Tried The Guitar Hero Scenario!!
by Ninstation August 05, 2009
by Biafra J July 31, 2004