A jolly old man who lives at the north pole with his wife and thousands of elves. He flies around the world on Christmas Eve delivering presents to good little girls and boys, but only when they're fast asleep. He also delivers presents to children on their birthdays, but only if they're on his VIP list.
Santa claus gave me a super ultra laser beam gun for my sixth birthday.
by Bokuwa March 26, 2010
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A nonexistent, grossly obese elderly man who would likely suffer from diabetes and heart disease if he existed. A lie used to maliciously deceive vulnerable, impressionable children to the point where they feel they are unable to trust any human being once they are brought into the light and discover the truth.

Santa Claus is a big LIE. THERE IS NO SANTA.

This lie is generally accepted in modern culture to brainwash kids, very similar to how Hitler's Nazi ideology was used to brainwash Germans.

Similar lies include the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy.
Belief in Santa Claus contradicts Christian values and detracts from the reason that Christmas is celebrated in the first place by encouraging children to be materialistic, dependent, unappreciative, optimistic, and lazy.
by qwerty9C1 November 29, 2007
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Big fat dressed up red guy. The american rip-off from the dutch 'sinterklaas'. He has been used by coca cola to market their product and now is one of the most important icons around christmas time. He is fat because he is set to american standards. Santa claus is sometimes refered to as Santa or the man who brings presents on christmas eve. Santa is believed to live on the north pole, but seen his enormous profits and exploitation of little people his second home is believed to be in india.
> Who's the fat guy exploiting those reindeers and little helpers?
< That's Santa Clause
by BadgerX October 26, 2005
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A hundred year old magical fat petafile that sneaks into small childrenns homes at night and leaves them toys, while he eats all your cookies and drinks all your milk on his yearly visits. Likely drunk. Also, he still owes you that damn pony from when you were 5!
Little kid: Yay Santa Claus!
Older brother: Wheres my Damn pony?!
by The not so big and not so red November 05, 2010
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The sexual act of tittie fucking a girl and the ejaculating on her chin to make it look like a Santa Claus Beard.
Me: Oh damn look at that hot chick with the bigb jtits!!!
Friend: Oh I'd like to Santa Claus her!!!
Me: Me too!!!
by Shbjane April 10, 2010
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He is nothing but a fucked up dude. Think about it he climbs into people's houses and gives them presents for being nice ( really all kids are gonna be bad) and gives them coal if they are naughty ( which is fucked really). I mean if you come to your senses there is no way that Santa Claus is still alive. Think about Kris Kringle was born in the middle ages or sometime before that right. So how the fuck is he still alive. Either someone took his place or he is on some drugs that kept him alive all this years. The elves really? No one is elf with pointy ears. The reindeers really? First of all reindeer cannot fly. Second of all reindeer are mammals which means they cannot fly, but they can have babies. Last his retarded laugh, is retarded "HO HO HO" No wonder why no girls like him because every girl there is by calling them hoes.

Kids, if you want true joy around christmas give and be thankful for friends, family, and your girlfriend if you have one.
Santa claus needs to go to hell, because he makes the holidays fucked up and changing what they mean. I cant wait for New years.
via giphy
by One little hellian November 18, 2017
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A school shooter who is making a list and checking it twice
"hey you know chris right?'"
"Yeah I think he's a Santa Clause"
"oh shit he's reaching in his bag"
by Quintavious Larvous December 06, 2017
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