Ted: Oh fuck Sally get ready, I'm about to put out the fire.
Sally: What?
Ted: Hold still bitch, ARGGHHH.

"I'll be back from vacation soon. How are my fish doing?"
"Yeah, about that... 😅"

"He went to choke the chicken..."
"But that's animal abuse! How are you guys okay with this?!"
"I don't think that's what he meant by that 😅"