"I'm gonna go drop a deuce before this wicked poorection gets out of hand."

"I'll be back from vacation soon. How are my fish doing?"
"Yeah, about that... 😅"

"He went to choke the chicken..."
"But that's animal abuse! How are you guys okay with this?!"
"I don't think that's what he meant by that 😅"

Dude: Guy! You have a major manly buldge!
Guy: Aww! Man I just shat must be a poorection