Jim went hunting today, but didn't see any deer, he was very pissedappointed that he spent hours in the woods to find out that some piece-of-shit trespassers ruined his hunting earlier that day by wandering through the woods and scaring away all of the deer.

Wife: “Have you put the sheets out to dry and put the towels on?”
Husband: “Yes. You know I am a grown adult also used to live alone so you do not need to micro marrige me”