Pine Martens are the most adorable animals ever to exist on god's green earth. Whenever you see a Pine Marten, all psychological, emotional and physical ailments are cured instantly, and you are afflicted with a desperate desire to pet the subject of your new-found adoration.

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The best animal to ever exist on Earth. It looks like a weasel but with a fox's face. They are definitely the cutest animals by far. But not all pine martens are good. There is one evil pine marten named King Martin. He is the evil dictator of Bohemia, and is a master at creating deadly medicines and diseases in his lab. In fact, he is the one who created the coronavirus. He became the king of Bohemia after overthrowing Freddie Mercury. John Deacon, Brian May, and Roger Taylor tried everything they could to fight back against King Martin, but he then revealed his true form and destroyed them all. It is said that if someone kills King Martin, his spirit will enter into their body and and dissolve them from the inside out. He has a dog named Rex who he uses as his slave. Although Rex is much bigger than King Martin, he would never try to kill him for fear of being banished to the 5th dimension. King Martin is a greater threat to humanity than humanity itself.