Mr. Grate: Johnson! The company picnic is in 5 days. What are you bringing?

Johnson: I'm bringing some Mountain Dew, Doritos, and some pig strips.

Mr. Grate: Pig strips? What in the world are pig strips?

Johnson: It's just bacon Mr. Grate.

Mr. Grate: You kids and your crazy slang!

*both laugh*

Wife: “Have you put the sheets out to dry and put the towels on?”
Husband: “Yes. You know I am a grown adult also used to live alone so you do not need to micro marrige me”