Where there are more murders than days in the year. Where the people are as friendly as a pack of jackals. Where cultural illiteracy meets a love of guns and scrapple. Philadelphia is a beautiful town of 1.5 million people who are dying to get out, literally. This gorgeous town is surrounded by suburbs full of people who love Philadelphia so much they pretend it is the best place on earth to out of towners and secretly, never, ever go downtown. Philadelphia is the birthplace of freedom - and the place that middle schools obligatorily send students too to learn about a much less violent past such as the revolutionary war. Philadelphia has a rich inventive history, for instance Electricity (Benjamin Franklin) and murdering 14 year old bicyclists (Phil from the southwest- go gangstah! GO!). Ah Philadelphia - smell the cordite, hate, and future depravity! Philadelphia, "America's Next Great City"* (out of order since 1776).
"Philadelphia, I love cheese steaks wit and double murder please"
"Rocky says we're great... what do you mean Rocky isn't real?"
"Recycling... who needs it"
"Welcome to Philadelphia, can I interest you in an order of being shot to death?"
"Philadelphia! America's Next Great City! Right after New York, Chicago, LA, San Franciso, Cleveland, Milwaukee, Oakland, Detroit, Houston, Oklahoma City, Lagos, Baghdad, Beijing, and Scotts base camp in the antarctic"
"Sauron visited Holmesburg and shat his pants"
by MayorStreet January 08, 2008
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1) Place where big things happen, site of the original Continental Congress, and where the Constitution was writen.

2) Awesome cream cheese.
1) "I'd rather be in Philadelphia."

2) I'm making bagels, got any Philadelphia?
by loucks July 05, 2005
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The second largest city in the North-eastern United States (behind New York City). Although culturally we are also behind Boston and Washington DC.

Cons: Blight and urban decay. Horrible infrastructure, underdeveloped public transit system. NASTY subways, litter, double parking, raggedy streets. Clean streets at 5am and a mess by noon! Graffiti, public urination... It's as if the City residents say "WE DON'T LIKE NICE THINGS IN OUR NEIGHBORHOODS!" Too many residents are proud of being ghetto and stupid. People rarely renovate their properties. Our schools were built in the early 20th Century. Ugly downtown, low-class mall (The Gallery) and Chinatown always smells of rotten meat. We have a LOT of dollar stores and abandoned properties in our DOWNTOWN! Our City's population is generally older, poorer, and less educated than other large cities. There are a few pockets that attract young people like Fairmount, Northern Liberties, University City, and Queen Village but they are so small and exclusive that they are vastly overpriced and many of those neighbourhoods are within walking distance of a local GHETTO!

Pros: Crime seems to be steadily declining. We have GREAT hospitals and Universities! The City attracts students from all over who obtain a higher education here but few stay upon graduation. People who succeed often flock to our suburbs where they ostracize the city and be pretentious.
Outsider: Why does Philadelphia have such a negative reputation?

Philadelphian: We have a "Crown Fried Chicken" in our downtown.

Outsider: But I thought "Crown Fried Chicken" was only found in city slums?

Philadelphian: This is Philadelphia, our downtown is a slum, too!
by RazorSharp215 June 24, 2010
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This city's got big buildings, I like the food, people talk funny; bye.
Hope you like my postcard, Mom.
by Average tourist March 29, 2005
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A place for hobos, the poor, homeless, crack heads, and the home of a city that can't win championships in any major sport especially football.
I don't have any money and need a cheap place to live where I can live in fear of my life regardless of what part of the city i'm in and be surrounded by a population of ignorant, uneducated simpletons. I know I'll move to Philadelphia!
by UltraMegaBadassSuperman March 26, 2011
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A valley of humility between two mountains of conceit New York and Washington.
Some people say North Carolina is very Philadelphia, with the mountains of conceit being Virginia and South Carolina.
by Michael Lewyn August 28, 2005
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Philthydelphia...city of Brothers on Drugs. I hate Philly. It's dirty, it smells, the people can't drive, are completely unfriendly, have the most juvinile, obnoxious sports fans, the roadway system sucks, the eagles suck, the flyers suck, the sixers suck, the phillies suck, I suck for having to live here, I'm too depressed to continue. Everyone in Philly should shove a pencil in their eye to try and forget about the pain of having to live there. I've lived here for 2 years and absolutely hate it. If it wasn't for my job, I'd move somewhere that didn't suck like Pittsburgh. At least they have one sports team that doesn't blow.
"Wow, that guy's an a-hole. Yeah, must be from Philadelphia." Or, "Wow, that girl's really a whore. Yeah, she's from Philly."
by I hate Philly August 14, 2006
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