Top definition
A person who finds it necessary to use a half roll of toilet paper (usually amounting to a half inch of TP cushioning) to line the toilet seat of public bathrooms out of fear of contracting an alien disease.

Also referred to as a daft defecator.
KB: WTF took you so long? That turd must have really been a fighter!
Russ: Not at all actually. I would have been out in five minutes had it not taken me ten to remove the remnants of a paranoid pooper before I could drop deucage.

"Hey man sorry it took so long, but a paranoid pooper like myself can never be too cautious before procuring a fat turd nugget.
by Rusty Rustbucket October 26, 2010
Happy St. Patties Day!