Guy: "Dude, some alex bitch was creepin on me and i ran away, but she found me and jumped on me."

Girl: "Ew, atleast there wasnt the pancake effect."

Guy: "Do you see how flat i am right now......"

Girl: "Oh shit, the pancake effect is worse than i thought."

"I'll be back from vacation soon. How are my fish doing?"
"Yeah, about that... 😅"

"He went to choke the chicken..."
"But that's animal abuse! How are you guys okay with this?!"
"I don't think that's what he meant by that 😅"