An essential resource, now gone scarce due to the COVID-19 lockdown. This holy material, brought to us from above, aids some in helping clean one's shit lined ass hole. Another use for this Walmart product, is helping a man clean the pew-pews of jizz off the toilet seat.
Oe hail naw, we ran out of Toilet Paper.
by itsPrYzm June 02, 2020
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Clamping toilet paper with your chin while beating off, making it accessible to clean up your huge load quickly.
A gentleman never forgets his toilet paper ascot when he comes……you spelled cum wrong.
by High Society October 27, 2012
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What all the fat fucks in the United States decided to do when they heard that a pandemic was coming.

No one knows exactly why this occurred since toilet paper cannot protect you from the No No Virus. If you ask a hoarder they will use the lazy excuse about indefinite quarantines as though that justifies buying 3 years worth from Costco by the pallet. Someone even made a website about this shit and of course, most everyone had too much butt paper. Go figure.

Some greedy good for nothings also tried to make a profit to “help their family”, only to get the banhammer from the Feds for selling Charmin at a 1200% markup on eBay. Amateurs.

You can find some pseudo-intellectual bullshit in the media about comfort and the bullwhip effect, yada yada - this is the nice way of saying people are retards and controlled by their reptilian impulses.

Many lulz will ensue in the coming months when things calm down and all the butt cucks try to return their paper paradise to Walmart, only to be told no and to gtfo.
My neighbor has been entertaining herself by engaging in toilet paper hoarding. She has 14 pallets and can’t even park her car in the garage anymore.
by TauKitty April 21, 2020
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A creature believed to be of Lebanese and/or Italian descent. If you go to the toilet and find that the lid to the toilet is shut and the toilet paper is attatched to the roll and pulled to the floor forming a little pile of toilet paper, the toilet paper monster has struck! When the T.P.M is angry, it has been known to leave a trail of toilet paper around the house.
Istvan; "Hey danny, why is there a trail of toilet paper from your bathroom to your fridge?"

Danny; "Don't worry mate, it's just the toilet paper monster"

Istvan; "Why is all the cheese gona from your fridge?"

Danny; "Don't, looks like the T.P.M likes cheeeeese!!!"
by Yew :-) August 17, 2011
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Toilet Paper Patriots are those American citizens who are in support of the insurrection on Jan 6 but were too much of a coward to do it themselves.

Also those who promoted and incited the rhetoric via Social Media that caused the Jan 6 insurrection but was didn't take part in the attack itself are also Toilet Paper Patriots.
Carl talked all big and bad about how he would do something against the government if given the chance but when the time came he was at home in his mom basement being a Toilet Paper Patriot.
by ORC was here May 07, 2021
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Toilet paper syndrome (TPS) When you think the world is going to end but it’s not and you’re just an idiot. Example: Jim: OMG it’s raining I better drive 30 miles per hour in the 65 zone. SAM: it’s just rain, sounds like you have TPS!
Jim: OMG it’s raining I better drive 30 miles per hour in the 65 zone. SAM: it’s just rain, sounds like you have TPS!
Jim: what’s TPS?
SAM: Toilet paper syndrome
by That pedicab Life March 16, 2020
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A butt with toilet paper wedged in the crack. It looks like 'kleenex' or tissue paper stuck in a box to blow your nose. Kleenex, Puffs, tissue paper, toilet paper, heavy duty booty, butt crack attack, wedgie, wipe your butt, butt, poop, booty, bum, butt crack, take a dump
I was in a hurry to get back to class and wiped my butt several times really fast. I think I got a toilet paper wedgie.
by joecoolthefool September 06, 2016
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