this is a sizable poo which when you go to wipe, leaves no trace on the toilet roll. Also known as the 'phantom' or 'clean-break' the elusive 'non-wiper' is a real treat when you come across it.

a phrase chiefly used in northern England.

it is a contracted form of "it'll be reet", where "reet" means "alright" or "OK".

living your life according to "be reet" is the only way to find happiness in life.

Someone who is so fat that it is physically impossible for them to reach their arse for the purposes of wiping up after a dump. Their arms just aren't long enough to reach around, across, under or through the mounds of lard.
Their arms typically bounce up and down on the mounds of lard as they waddle along.