"Aw man, did you see our new substitute teacher? That chick needs to lay off the cheeseburgers and jog her ass around the block a few times."
"Yeah, and wear a thicker shirt! You could totally see her nipples, they were like freakin' deflated basketballs!"
"Now that's a nippopotamus right there."
"Hell yeah."

Dan: bro why have you been staring into space for the last hour doing nothing?
Me: bro i have a chronic cringe from what happened earlier I can't concentrate