The "Rusty Newspaper" is an act used to describe the actions of a man when he wipes his ass with the front page of the London Times then proceeds to fax the page to his wife when she arrives at work.
Husband- "Did you recieve the paper via fax at work this morning honey?"
Wife- "I did, it seems you've delievered me a "Rusty Newspaper". What for?"
Husband- "You burnt the coffee again this morning you F**king C**t, thats what you get."
Wife- "I hope you at least cleaned the shit off the fax machine".
Wife- "I did, it seems you've delievered me a "Rusty Newspaper". What for?"
Husband- "You burnt the coffee again this morning you F**king C**t, thats what you get."
Wife- "I hope you at least cleaned the shit off the fax machine".
by Uncle Ty October 15, 2012
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Someone who sits with a newspaper in front of their head instead of paying attention to the suroundings.
by JD dudemaster March 05, 2010
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A streetside newspaper vending machine.
by Gard May 11, 2007
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by Clump Chlumpkins November 07, 2013
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Person who gets up at o-dark-thirty and throws newspapers out of a car while driving in circles. Cranky until sleep is had.
by Apryle August 23, 2008
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Spending a prolonged amount of time in the bathroom taking a shit. Called a "newspaper job" because one commonly takes the paper along with them to read as they sit on the toilet
by Libertine October 04, 2005
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Mary saw it was raining outside and exclaimed, "Oh fuck! My newspaper is going to be ruined." However when she retrieved her paper, she noticed that the delievery boy had wrapped it in 2 newspaper condoms, keeping the paper dry and readable!
by Wordmaster Adam April 12, 2013
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