Newcastle upon Tyne is the home of artificial sperm. Invented after the sudden decline in Geordie mens libido after Damian Duffs own goal against Aston Villa consigned the once proud toon football club to hell that is the Championship.
Alerted by the realisation of no natural born Geordie offspring being born after March 2010, Newcastle City Council raised council tax by 2.9% to fund research into the crisis affecting Geordie males.
A breakthrough was announced on 8th July, news of which was greeted in the tradional way by the fishwives of the BiggMarket by downing copious amounts of vodka based alcohol, getting jiggy down the alleys near the Quayside and then vommitting on the Grays Monument.
As the artificial sperm was co-developed in Durham, they had the foresight to alter the Geordie genome to prevent their predilection to favour black and white shirts, the 'Mackem mix' as the scientists, called it ensures all future male offspring will naturally wear red and white and seek their way to the Stadium of Light to watch Premiership football rather than Scunthorpe, Blackpool and Peterborough at St James' Park.
Alerted by the realisation of no natural born Geordie offspring being born after March 2010, Newcastle City Council raised council tax by 2.9% to fund research into the crisis affecting Geordie males.
A breakthrough was announced on 8th July, news of which was greeted in the tradional way by the fishwives of the BiggMarket by downing copious amounts of vodka based alcohol, getting jiggy down the alleys near the Quayside and then vommitting on the Grays Monument.
As the artificial sperm was co-developed in Durham, they had the foresight to alter the Geordie genome to prevent their predilection to favour black and white shirts, the 'Mackem mix' as the scientists, called it ensures all future male offspring will naturally wear red and white and seek their way to the Stadium of Light to watch Premiership football rather than Scunthorpe, Blackpool and Peterborough at St James' Park.
by Frank Todd Malone July 10, 2009
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A popular term used by squadron members at Newcastle Jets games.
1. When twats in bay 2 stand there without contributing to any songs.
2. When twats stop singing when we are down a goal.
3. When twats start the same annoying song over and over eg ohh when the jets, or poofter goalkeeper.
4. When twats use it as a stop before town just so they can get drunk
1. When twats in bay 2 stand there without contributing to any songs.
2. When twats stop singing when we are down a goal.
3. When twats start the same annoying song over and over eg ohh when the jets, or poofter goalkeeper.
4. When twats use it as a stop before town just so they can get drunk
Mong - Newcastle Jets
Squadron member 1: Fucking squadron mongs
Squadron member 2: Seemed a lot in the bay 2nite
Squadron member 1: Spose they were just ring in blokes
Squadron member 2: Most likely...I mean who would go into the squadron with a rugby league jersey on & try and start up a mexican wave every 5 minutes
Squadron member 1: Fucking squadron mongs
Squadron member 2: Seemed a lot in the bay 2nite
Squadron member 1: Spose they were just ring in blokes
Squadron member 2: Most likely...I mean who would go into the squadron with a rugby league jersey on & try and start up a mexican wave every 5 minutes
by Newyboy January 19, 2012
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by roller May 06, 2005
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Newcastle is an Australian city located on the coastline of NSW. It's mainly known for its coal export and nice beaches.
Person A: "Where do live?"
Person B: "Coal"
Person A: "I'm guessing Newcastle"
Person B: "Coal"
Person A: "You sure do love coal, Scotty"
Person B: "Coal"
Person A: "I'm guessing Newcastle"
Person B: "Coal"
Person A: "You sure do love coal, Scotty"
by M92 Metrobus May 26, 2020
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I sure could use a Newcastle Cheesecake right about now! It has been months, since the last get together!
by Gandolian August 29, 2020
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A college that kicks you out without telling you after your therapist says you weren’t safe enough to go outside for a week
A college that badly underfunds everything other than maths, english and science
A college where the childcare teachers are incompetent
A college that hires the teacher that no one wants
A college that badly underfunds everything other than maths, english and science
A college where the childcare teachers are incompetent
A college that hires the teacher that no one wants
I was told by a professional that I’m not safe enough to go outside. Only to be told that it’s all a lie by an uneducated lecturer from Newcastle college and that I’m kicked out
by gayguywithaseverecaseofanxiety May 09, 2021
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A 36 year old footballer from Portugal, scored 2 goals on his return to EPL against a strong invisible Newcastle United team.
by JakeKaren333 September 15, 2021
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