"If you go ahead and say something, people will get mad and accuse you of being too bold/impudent/forward, expecting too much, or asking too many questions. But if you keep quiet, people will criticize you for being too wimpy to stand up for yourself."
As a child and teenager, people always griped at me for my speaking my mind, and so I finally got too timid to open my mouth. Nowadays, however, many folks --- including some of those very same criticizers from my youth --- tell me that I need to stick up for myself more and stop being such a wuss... can't win! Classic example of "Murphy's Law of Speaking Up", I guess.
by QuacksO June 12, 2019
"If you have to request assistance/advice from a store/office-employee, you will be obliged to wander all over da place and "search till Doomsday" to find someone who is not presently too occupied to listen to you. Yet once you finally receive your answer, THEN there will be ABSOLUTE MULTITUDES OF PERSONNEL just lounging around and making themselves available, and so you will feel like a total JACKA** for not having simply waited a few more minutes to ask your question, rather than wearing out your feet and legs from running all over da shop to find someone to ask!"
I spent over five minutes scampering up and down the aisles at Wally-World trying to find a "free" employee to ask about the availability of a certain product, but then afterwards, there were several non-busy staffpeople whom I met en-route back to my shopping-cart whom I could have asked just as easily at that point --- talk about a classic case of Murphy's Law of Staff-Availability! :P :P
by QuacksO August 26, 2019
"You can apathetically sit around the house for hours, and the weather will be sunny and mild. But then just as soon as you actually manage to groggily struggle up off'n yer but and head for the door to be productive with outdoor activities, it will either start raining, the temps will soar/plummet, or the breeze will die down and allow black flies and mosquitoes to swarm you."
I am a long-term vicitim of Murphy's Law of Weather vs. Gumption, so I employ the unconventional strategy of working naked outdoors (long live tall dense shrubbery along the road out front!) so that I can feel cooler and move about more easily than I could with restrictive clothing, and thus I am able to strugglingly get work done during more-favorable weather, even when I strongly don't feel like it.
by QuacksO September 12, 2019
"No matter where you stand, da breeze will invariably blow either towards you or in your face, causing you great difficulty in proceeding ahead and/or "cleanly"/effectively performing tasks dat involve/include vapors/particulates/liquids." (Think, Murphy's Law of Cigarette Smoke, or trying to bicycle someplace on a blustery day and da stiff wind keeps switching around so dat it's always hinderingly in your face --- never helpfully at your back --- both on your way to your destination AND on your way back home again!)
P.S. Oh yeah --- and don't even **consider** simply postponing outdoor activities till a "still spell" --- DAT will only mean multitudes of mosquitoes and black flies to torment you and make you WISH for a breeze!
P.S. Oh yeah --- and don't even **consider** simply postponing outdoor activities till a "still spell" --- DAT will only mean multitudes of mosquitoes and black flies to torment you and make you WISH for a breeze!
Two classic examples of da infuriating effects of Murphy's Law Of Wind-Direction would be (1) trying to water your hanging-basket plants on da front porch, but da watering-can's sprinkled droplets keep blowing backwards so dat da water both largely misses your plants and gets you soaking-wet, and (2) trying to employ toss-across collecting when gathering returnables along da highway, but having many of da thrown containers just blow right back onto your side of da road.
by QuacksO August 12, 2019
"You can leave a pitted/abraded/scratched/bubbled/discolored windshield in your car till 0%!$@&# Doomsday and it will never get hit, but then just as soon as you actually REPLACE said "ancient" glass wif a brand new one, THAT'S when you'll get a bleepin' BIG OL' PEBBLE tossed up by a passing vehicle, and star-crack your nice shiny-fresh windshield all to Hell!"
After several years I eventually got sick and tired of all da misty triplex-haze on my car's original-from-the-factory windshield, and so I finally replaced it --- wouldn't you know that the VERY NEXT DAY it got a huge crack in it after a rock got thrown up by the wheel of a passing dump-truck! Ahhhhrrrggggghhhhh... classic case of Murphy's Law Of Windshield-Damage, I guess!!
by QuacksO July 31, 2018
Someone who utilizes the "reliable" bad-luck-causing syndrome of Murphy's Law by actually turning it his own benefit or that of his friends. Extra points if these other folks actually hire him for pay to "suffer on their behalf".
One excellent example of a Murphy's Law opportunist would be someone who hangs out his laundry to dry on an occasion when rain is desired.
by QuacksO August 11, 2019
Refers to the infuriatingly-common "lousy timing" occurrence of your seldom encountering the usually-hoped-for opportunities/pleasantries (i.e., neighbors relaxing on their front porches/lawns whom you can shoot the breeze with on your way by, pretty girls to hold hands with and "chat up for a few", sizable numbers of discarded returnable containers, etc.) whenever you're out for a stroll or otherwise leisurely traipsing around your local area on foot, yet when you either hitch a ride with someone or are "a man on a mission" in your own vehicle and thus you can't "acceptably" stop to avail yourself of any of these assorted "sidewalk delights", the roadsides you travel along will either be "chock-full of friendlies" or "Bottle/Can City", and so you'll be mentally "climbin' da walls" at having to agonizingly pass on by all of those much-desired goodies.
It was foggy and chilly when I started out walking around town to complete my weekly errands-list, and so there was hardly another soul outdoors, but then sometime later when I was riding back again with a neighbor who'd offered me a lift home, the weather turned clear and balmy again, and there were lots of smiley-faced sundress-clad cuties strolling the walks all over town! Guess it was Murphy's Pedestrian-Perks Law at work!
by QuacksO July 21, 2018