Defecation immediately upon waking.

If one habitually suffers morning duece symptoms (being woken by abdomenal pains, excessive farting and/or swamp ass) diagnosis of Morning Deuce Syndrome (MDS) is likely.

It’s an acronym standing for Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing. It’s usually used to describe embarrassment at being unable to remember someone (CRAFT moment); going onstage as the lead in the latest theatrical performance and your mind goes completely blank (CRAFT situation); the next morning after a night when you got pissed as a fart and woke up in bed cuddling a traffic cone and a string of fairy lights wound round your prick.