The Midlands -
1. A fictional place in Britain because no one knows where it really starts or finishes.
2. Re-named to Birmingham to disguise its poor identity and reputation. This didn't work

The UK's purgatory. Sweet F all actually happens there and it is home to one of the most irritating accents in the British Isles. Worse than hell because at least hell has pain, the midlands have no emotion, style or climate. The midlands are inhabited by a group of Southern wannabes who hate the North due to jealousy of it's beauty and the South due to jealousy of it's food.

When I'm king, I'm gonna build a bridge over the midlands so the North and South of England can visit each other undisturbed.