Euphemism used to temporarily excuse oneself from a social gathering--presumably to see how much time is left on the (non-existent) parking meter--in order to do drugs.
by doritoboi May 28, 2004
n. A scale to use if something sucks really, really bad.
When used, use terms analogous to parts of a male penis.
When used, use terms analogous to parts of a male penis.
Oh man, on the Dick Meter, that movie sucked all the way to the balls!!
That car crash sucked so bad! On the Dick Meter, it sucked full-shaft PLUS the balls!
That car crash sucked so bad! On the Dick Meter, it sucked full-shaft PLUS the balls!
by Charlie Gallagher December 20, 2007
A pedo-meter is a non-specific measurement describing the distance between an area where there is a general presence of minors (such as a school or a park) and the nearest pedophile, and the likely hood they will offend. A distance of 1 pedo-meter suggests there is a 50% Chance of pedophile activity in the area; the distance shares an exponentially inverse relationship with pedophile activity.
Person 1. "This park is about 6 pedo-meters away, so the kids are quite safe"
Person 2. "Shit that's not bad, when I was growing up my school had a distance of about .3 pedo-meters, there was a few creepy bald guys driving around in tinted vans from time to time"
Person 2. "Shit that's not bad, when I was growing up my school had a distance of about .3 pedo-meters, there was a few creepy bald guys driving around in tinted vans from time to time"
by Frederick McCock May 14, 2013
The base unit of length in the International System of Ass Units (ASS-I). Equivalent to around 12.457 meters or the distance between Dr. Kamal's office and the BME lab.
Mike: "Hey bro, where did you park today?"
Marek: "Approximately 23.4 Ass Meters from here"
Mike: "I see what you did there you fuck!"
Marek: "Approximately 23.4 Ass Meters from here"
Mike: "I see what you did there you fuck!"
by supersubmarinesemen November 07, 2011
a trick employed by scientologists to try to scam you into taking their 'therapy' sessions at $400 a pop. here is a guide. beware:
1. First a scientologist will approach you, offering you a free stress test. you will know they are a scientologist, as they will have the staring, unblinking 'crazy eyes'. they will be very reluctant to take no for an answer.
2. if you do go with them, they will hook you up to an 'e meter'. they will ask you to think of some deeply troubling experience, and when the meter moves slightly, they will present this as evidence you need therapy.
3. you will end up paying $400 a session to have whats troubling you 'audited' (cleared) from your mind. but get this: whats troubling you is, apparently, the souls of murdered aliens (thetans) in your head. betcha didn't see that one coming eh?
1. First a scientologist will approach you, offering you a free stress test. you will know they are a scientologist, as they will have the staring, unblinking 'crazy eyes'. they will be very reluctant to take no for an answer.
2. if you do go with them, they will hook you up to an 'e meter'. they will ask you to think of some deeply troubling experience, and when the meter moves slightly, they will present this as evidence you need therapy.
3. you will end up paying $400 a session to have whats troubling you 'audited' (cleared) from your mind. but get this: whats troubling you is, apparently, the souls of murdered aliens (thetans) in your head. betcha didn't see that one coming eh?
by me old fruity June 19, 2006
Jon's early morning meeting was iterrupted by a reminder of his nachos & beers the night before. He quickly stood up and said, "Excuse me fellahs. I need to go 'plug the meter.'" Those in the know understood he really just needed to take a crap.
by Rick Oculous October 24, 2008