Mental Masturbation

Manipulating usually flirtatiously yet without doing any actual sexual acts in order to get what you want.

AKA: ‘Hoeing without using your holes’

Just send a pretty girl to go scoop up that check. He won’t tell her no...
#mental masturbation

by FreakyFelonFriday February 6, 2021

Mental Masturbation

The term coined by the promising new hope of psychology. Christopher, the surefire future of psychological theory, defines this term as the psychosexual pleasure that one receives from playing mind games with others. Christopher is a godsend to psychology.

I am, however, at the point in my life where I do not need to subject myself to the “mental masturbation” which envelopes your games.

by Sigmund Hylkema January 9, 2008

mental masturbation

v. the act of masturbating with and only with your mind, totally not sexy

Oh man, performed some mental masturbation last night releasing mind bullets on my couch

by MattyN February 11, 2006

mental masturbation

To perform some activity, typically IT related, where performing the activity gives the performer near sexual pleasure while doing it, yet nothing of any value or lasting value is produced. Mental masturbation is reasonably acceptable in the privacy of the performer's home, where their time is free (in money terms), but not on their employer's time. Mental masturbation can be the cause and reason for overly complicated and hard to understand IT solutions being implemented in one company, despite simpler, more commonly understood and tried and tested solutions to the same problem being used at a number of other companies in the same industry.

To workmate, on Monday morning, "Guess what I did over the weekend! I rewrote Linux in FORTAN! Cool huh! Next weekend I'm going to rewrite it in COBOL!"
Workmate, unimpressed, "That sounds like mental masturbation to me."

by Shylock Merchant September 22, 2008

mental masturbating

When someone gets turned on with only the images the person thinks of in their head.

By the look of their face, I can tell they're currently mental masturbating.

by The Big Thicc August 14, 2019

Mental Masterbation

Pondering philosophical questions, which may be enjoyable, yet are so removed from reality, or experience that they have no practical use.

Someone that thinks of far out 'what if' questions

Note- Not all philosophy is mental masterbation.

"Today we spent three hours mentally masterbating to Kant's critique of pure reason"

"I got a degree in mental masterbation!" someone graduating with a degree in rhetoric, philosophy, anthropolgy, multicultural studies, etc

by Marcus L January 1, 2008