The Cooker: "damn, where is tp? He went to the can an hour ago."
Pete Dick: "I dunno, maybe he is playing gay games..."
TP (returning from the bathroom, looking relieved: "Oh, wow."
The Cooker: "what the fuck took you so god damn long?"
TP: "marathon dump dude, you know my wife won't let me crap in the house. that thing has been brewing all week."
Pete Dick: "shut up and Irish yourself."

Tim: Zack, is that your exgirlfriend?
Zack: No, she's an expotential. We never actually dated...