An act similar to teabagging, where ones asshole is used instead of the ballsack.

A small, incredibly yappy dog worthy of nothing less than a sharp boot to it's scrunched-up face, luckily sending the little bundle of white matted hair flying incredibly far in a parabolic fashion. Hopefully, a mulcher will be comically positioned at the falling point with the feeding-tube pointing up. It must also be switched on. Thereafter, observe peaceful silence. The maltese dog is an unnatural deviation and is an affront to the Gods.

A person who is from Malta. A dirty maltese often feels overshadowed by their northern neighbours, Italians. Often mistaken for an Italian, a dirty maltese will emphatically deny being Italian and will loudly proclaim his true nationality saying "I am from Malta!". This is often followed by others in the immediate area quitely whispering "what's a malta?".

A dirty maltese is, by definition, a hairy bastard. So hairy in fact that a dirty maltese must regularly trim his entire body. If you share a residence with a dirty maltese it is often advised to cover any personal effects you keep in the washroom area as the trimming process can be quite messy and you may find an unpleasant surprise on your tooth brush when you wake up.

Popular pick up techniques of a dirty maltese often include incoherant babbling which is often followed by the spilling of one's drink on the intended conquest.

drunken sailor, russel crowe, to beat off in your pants,

A type of very large, upholstered rat which makes a constant yapping noise which is only slightly less annoying than the sound of fingernails on a blackboard. If you live adjacent to an apartment which contains one, you will, unfortunately, be quickly driven insane by the incessant racket which it produces if you cannot find a way to dispatch it. Most people regard the Maltese Terrier as nothing more than a noxious varmint with no real use; however, this is not actually true as the Maltese terrier is quite useful as live bait when alligator hunting and can also yield high-quality shark chum when butchered and mechanically separated.

A sexual practice involving usually two males, one male shoves a battery in and our of his japs eye a few times then begins to masterbate, the second takes a shit into the first guys engorged uretha. the first man continues to masterbate and jizzes out shitty man semen into the mouth of the first

Used as an example of something that only really gullible people would believe in.

Born of the urban myth that cows in Malta live underground where it is cooler.