A small white fluffy dog, apparently selectively bred to present this appearance since Roman times. They were perfectly good wolves before that. Their hair never sheds or stops growing, which means that they can become a hideous walking dreadlock in the blink of an eye. Often inbred to the extent that they need all of their rotten teeth pulled out by a vet before the age of six, it is debatable whether the Maltese is capable of learning discipline. They are given to ceaseless yapping, wissing on rugs and biting (with aforementioned rotten teeth- they have hellbreath) and are never reprimanded for such crimes by their fat, matronly, indulgent owners who need something totally dependent on them to cuddle because their beloved son has rebelled and moved out of home to become a skinhead.

Pool player who cannot avoid potting the white on important shots. Tends to lose out to thegreatgatsby on RTG powerplays.

Sex position where one partner dresses up as a holy-land crusader and the other like a nun. The use of the Maltese Cross symbol on clothing is mandatory. One partner then urinates on dirt and flings it on the other such that they form the appearance of muddy urine casts.

When a brunette has a blond moment. For example being Brunett on the outside blond on the inside like a Malteser.

A teacher of math and science that's not white and usually can't pronounce the word calculator.

A Maltese sex position that involves 4 people.

Two couples do the doggy whilst facing each other. On the point of climax, everyone sticks their hands out like a falcon's talons whilst making the Ca-Caw sound.

Can be bumpy. Reminiscent of a Maltese bus.

A falcon from Malta