believing in malcolm from don't hug me i'm scared

a. Intoxicated with alcohol liquor to the point of impairment of physical and mental faculties
b. Caused or influenced by intoxication

also known as:
Adjectives drunk, tipsy; intoxicated; inebrious, inebriate, inebriated; in one's cups; in a state of intoxicationn.; temulent, temulentive; fuddled, mellow, cut, boozy, fou, fresh, merry, elevated; flustered, disguised, groggy, beery; top-heavy; potvaliant, glorious; potulent; squiffy; overcome, overtaken; whittled, screwed, tight, primed, corned, raddled, sewed up, lushy, nappy, muddled, muzzy, obfuscated, maudlin; crapulous, dead drunk.

A kind, loyal, respectful guy. Lead by his heart and loyalty. Always has a smile on his face and puts everyone before him. Never gets upset and sees the good in everyone. Always has something positive to say and will be there if you need him. A big hearted big guy with a lot of faith. His big heart and loving nature allows him to make deep connections with everyone he meets especially kids. Very attractive and good lucking guy. Very tall and fit. His smile can brighten whole room. Tends to think less of himself but he is the light of a lot of peoples day.

as a malcolm i cannot confirm any of these, these are all false

What you can say if an exclamation of disgust, pain or frustration is required, but because of the company in which you find yourself a euphemism is required as you are unable to say “Fucking arsewipe, pig’s dick sucking, cunt-eyed, monkey-fucking, shit eating twat!” It can also be used as a socially acceptable way of calling someone a cunt, e.g. “You complete and utter Malcolm!” You will know exactly what it means, as will your friends it you choose to let them know but no-one else will.
The sort of person you could use the word to describe is, usually, male and one of nature’s evolutionary errors. In the workplace they are a complete waste of space their incompetence exceeded only by their self-delusion regarding their abilities and their self-aggrandising bullshit. They invariably try to claim credit for work others have done and are sycophantic to an unbelievable degree. Cowards and bullies, Malcolms are frequently found in Toxic Workplaces, but until nature redresses the balance and makes them extinct there is nothing to be done about these creatures so FIDO.

The opposite of a catalyst, a Malcolm will act as a retardent to any process, slowing it to the point where the rate of advancement of any task is almost immeasurably slow.

a woman usually a teacher probably of
(english or history, you know one of those bitchy ones) who shows strong tendencies towards dikeisim. this woman is usually "married" but keeps her madien name. she shows a strong prejudice to men for no real reason. basically a mean ass woman who is always on the rag.