bible thumpin dad: (smells weed from outside of sons locked door then knocks)
"johnny are you smoking that marijuana again?!"

johnny: "yes ho now fuck off."

bible thumpin dad: "sweet jesus THATS LUCIFER'S LETTUCE!!!"

johnny: "meh."
(coughs)

Dave: She's a bit old for you isn't she.
Jim: That's alright, I like a bit of Crinkly Lettuce.

Bill is showing some serious chest lettuce in that cheesy disco shirt.

trent: ey yo, you got that good forest lettuce?
renesmee: yeah dude, you want some?

Pass me that Lettuce Sandwich

I read some extremely smutty bacon lettuce yesterday.

Let me share this Shizaya bacon lettuce with you.

Mom: What is BL?
Me: ...bacon lettuce.

"Hey Fetty, what you doing?"

"Just Cutting Lettuce"