(online or in text msg, etc)
"I have to go shopping"
'I shop online, you must have tons of time on your hands. it's Christmas and the stores are packed!'
"The traffic here is fine."
'I thought it was snowing there.'
"I have snow tires! duh."
'You know, there are websites that sell things much cheaper.'
"But there is a sale going on at my favorite place!"
'fine. let me know how that works out for you.'

Best way to diffuse (yep, this is trolling!): "U mad?"

I've been jabbed