The gumpiest, turtle looking mother f***** you've ever met. A major asshole, but so innocent you can't blame him for it. Drives an obnoxious jeep with a chopped exhaust that is obviously compensation for his undersized penis. His hobbies include racing every car on the highway, recieving dry, over the pants hand jobs in his friends garage, and spending all of his dads money on Patagonia gear. We all love him though!

the art of remembering an arousing occurrence or some porn you watched while masturbating, often handy if you have no porn or your in the shower