The joss-o-meter is a system for rating comical, unique or once in a life time events. The joss-o-meter is named after the human rating machine Joss who is the font of all knowledge with regards to rating classic events.

There are seven ratings on the normal joss-o-meter which are:

classendary - for the most amazing events

bloody brilliant - for that which seems classendary at the time yet wears off with age

classic - frequently remenissed over events such as "the bundle incident"

legendary - mostly reserved for people you would go to the pub with

average - that which is not worth rating

crap - events which are hyped and turn out to be below par

a bit shit - the worst people and things on the planet, such as George W Bush, Liberal Democrats, the Holocaust and rape.

Anatidaephobia is defined as a pervasive, irrational fear that one is being watched by a duck. The anatidaephobic individual fears that no matter where they are or what they are doing, a duck watches.

Anatidaephobia is derived from the Greek word "anatidae", meaning ducks, geese or swans and "phobos" meaning fear.