Investment Banker

Total baller. Probably graduated ivy league, makes six figures straight out of college and balls hard in NYC.

Often us bankers dislike poor people and other unprestigious things like equities in dallas
Yo dude, we can't go in that bar it's full of investment bankers and we only make $140k a year, dude we will get put to shame.
by The_Rainmaker January 10, 2010
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milf investment

this is a significant other that ages like fine wine and will eventually turn into a milf once they hit milf age meaning that by being in a relationship with them now, you are investing in a future milf
*in regards to the usage of milf in this context, gender does not matter, it's a matter of the milf vibes*
bro my girlfriend is such a milf investment
my partner is so hot, they are a literal milf investment
I need to cuff that dude, he's such a milf investment
by a bitch named lizard May 19, 2021
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Dick Investment

an act in which (usually) an older girl in high school will take a younger boy with a already large penis in the hopes it will get longer
shelly's only going after eric for his horse dick

hey he is a good dick investment
by whitish September 9, 2008
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investment casting

A molding process whereby precious metals are melted down and formed into household items, sporting-goods, etc., enabling their buyers to be less "obvious" or "visible" in their acquisition of said valuable minerals than they would be if they simply purchased coins, bars, etc.
Two excellent examples of investment casting would be electrical/plumbing components and golf clubs, which can be formed from gold, silver, platinum, etc. and installed/stored in the investor's home without anyone's being the wiser.
by QuacksO May 19, 2019
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Invest in yourself

Spending your time and money for your own improvement, future success or good time / enjoyment. As opposed to spending your money and / or time trying to please people especially people you don't like.
" I can't believe it! I just blew her rent money hosting a big dinner party for my frenemies."

"Yeah it sounds like you don't know how to invest in yourself. "
by Quelquechosedespecial December 24, 2016
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Investing Aggressively

1. Committing as little as possible to a situation
2. Making a covert exit from a place or situation

Originated in the Silicon Valley tech scene when companies are bluffing prior to a market exit in order to increase asset value or simply to stop staff brain drain prior to an asset sale. It is an ironic phrase, intended to mean the exact opposite.

See also Doublespeak, sarcasm, cynicism. Not to be confused with the common misuse of irony
1. “We expect to lose money in Southeast Asia and expect to invest aggressively in terms of marketing, subsidies etc,”

D. Khosrowshahi - Feb 2018. Uber sells March 2018

2. "You turning up to the boss' party on Saturday?"
"I plan on 'investing aggressively' in the optional company social this weekend..."
by IronicIsntIronyAlanis May 16, 2018
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investment broker

A businessman whose purpose is to make you go broke with his investments.
I could go broke just by practicing unwise spending; why should I pay an investment broker to accomplish this for me???
by QuacksO October 12, 2018
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