My boyfriend is such an inconsiderate driver, he was giving it to me in my pink, and all of a sudden he pulls out and tries jamming it in my stink. I kicked him in the nuts and told him to let me know the next time he wants to stick it in my ass. I need lube.

Wife: “Have you put the sheets out to dry and put the towels on?”
Husband: “Yes. You know I am a grown adult also used to live alone so you do not need to micro marrige me”