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If I can 

The only thing you can do here is get someone else's kill murdered with you obstinacy.
Hym "Jordan I am going to make your daughters life a living hell. I swear to whatever concept of God you have in that defunct gomer brain of your I will make them choose between you daughter and the kid. If I can get within arms reach of a kids whatever you are trying to get me to do will fail. As long as killing the kids equates to sucess and IT WILL ALWAYS EQUATE TO SUCESS BECAUSE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WHAT YOU'RE DOING!"
If I can by Hym Iam July 12, 2024
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If I can make you do what I want and get away with it, why should I not? 

Empathy for one. In the absence of empathy, if the amount of energy takes for you to get me to do a thing supersedes the amount of energy required for the thing to be done then it wouldn't be practical for you to make me do the thing. Additionally, my awareness of my own mortality makes it impossible for me to be perpetually made to do thing because I can always just kill myself. It incentivizes harming you and the things you care about. It gives your enemies a de-facto ally. But it's intriguing that you think that there is only one reason...
JeerpJoop "If I can make you do what I want and get away with it, why should I not?"

Hym "Well, for starters, there's more than one reason. Secondly, you literally can't. You can only leverage (either) my desire to live against performing the act OR the hope that I may not have to continue doing it indefinitely. Which is how you get people to stay in your suffering cult. You leverage their desire to live and their hope that their suffering will end to get them to do what you want or behave how you want to behave. It's actually kind of illuminating to because if you're God rewards screwing people over then is it not evil? Sounds evil. It ties back into you not actually believing in God but rather believing that God is on your side and that it will forgive you if you do the opposite of what it said."

If I can make up a 'if this then that' statement then what I'm saying is true 

Or Batman.
Charlatan "If I can make up a 'if this then that' statement then what I'm saying is true! It's embedded in the structure of the universe!"

Hym "Yes. Of course. You're clearly not a petty charlatan and a tyrant and you're clearly not using fascist collusion and gaslighting to enrich yourself and subvert the government. And it's NOT opposite world. All of these things are clearly not the case and no one is going to die as a direct result of you doing that."

If I can make him give up than so can God 

Is what you tell youselves. And that is why you are doing what you are doing. And making me change what I am doing is what constitutes giving up.
A retard "If I can make him give up than so can God!"

Hym "You don't get to be a part of my conflict with God and I'm not going to let you use this to stop me from getting what I want out of this. Stop doing it before your kids get hurt or do it until your kids get hurt but their is no in between."

Not If I Can Kelp It Burger 

An admittedly unusual, special Bob's Burgers burger that features kelp
"Hey Bob, what's the burger of the day?" "It's the Not If I Can Kelp It Burger, you should try it!"

i’ll see if i can 

No, this means no
Guy: We should hang out this weekend.

Girl: I’ll see if I can.

By saying this she is telling you no

who needs a car if i can swim underwater

a phrase created by uriel bromberg to say when people ask why you can't drive yet or why would you not
peep: hey man, did you get your drive license?
you: nah, who needs a car if i can swim underwater

grandma: hey son, could you drive to the supermarket and buy me fresh fruits?
you: i ain't got drive license, but who needs a car if i can swim underwater
More from Urban Dictionary

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".
"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
Word of the Day on October 1, 2026
korean word for madam, older woman
Ajumma wait a moment
Ajumma by aintnotinbutnice July 5, 2009
Word of the Day on September 30, 2026
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