Top definition
Loop your iPod headphones wiring around nutsack and/or your one eyed trouser snake, ensuring one complete revolution around the gonads. Once the loop is secured, get another individual to continuously tug on the wiring, thus completing the iJob. iPod music is optional, but to receive the full effect of the iJob, play Celine Dion's "My heart will go on."

Caution: Some individuals have larger ballbags and schlongs than others, so longer wiring may be necessary.
Adam: Yo dude, check out this Florence bitch next to me, she is totally giving me the dirtiest iJob!

Matt: Bro, that’s my mom!

In class, that whore Marie gave me a philthy iJob without even knowing, she kept on tugging on my headphone because I was listening to her favourite Celine Dion song.

Hey dickweed, do I got a story for you or what...I was next to these two fine Pasadena mudsliders and I got the craziest idea. I hooked up two headphones to my laptop, put on “my Heart will go on,” looped both of their wirings around my moneymaker and got the sweetest double iJob EVER.
by JBB2 November 04, 2009
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Apr 27 Word of the Day
A horoscope so bad that it strikes fear into the heart of the reader, rendering them unable take action or make a decision on anything or to even leave the house. This is caused by a paralyzing fear that those actions or decisions may cause the predictions to come true.
After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.

Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
by Edward Albee Deavers April 28, 2011
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2
Term used to loosely refer to any Apple "i" product.

Also contains loose sexual associations with the "money shot"... eyejob.
Yo, Bill! Have you seen the new iJob?
by Jdub4 February 19, 2010
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3
A job where they give you a free iPad or iPhone but secretly use the GPS tracking file to keep tabs on you, whatever you do and wherever you go.
It's bad enough you have an iJob, then you go and bring you boss along on our vacation so she can enjoy our sex in the sun vicariously? Where's my sledge hammer...
by BTUBoo May 12, 2011
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4
Shortened form of the Film Title - The Italian Job - ijob, a mini lover all his life, plays for an online gaming clan called Band Of Scousers.
He was only supposed to blow the bloody doors off but we love him anyway.
by Bridger April 03, 2005
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