A former Secretary of State who, despite having won the Nobel Peace Prize -- a slap in the face to those who TRULY have spent their lives supporting human rights and working for the betterment of humankind -- should be sitting in an international prison as a war criminal. Among his many (mis)deeds were sabotaging the 1968 Paris Peace Talks (thus tacking on another five years of U.S. involvement in the Vietnam conflict), and his key role in orchestrating the 1973 coup in Chile which put murderous Pinochet into power.

He reportedly no longer travels abroad without first consulting his lawyers about the possibility of his being arrested.

Noun: a friend who is usually only called upon by a friend when a more primary/prominent friend is unavailable.

Taken from the term “second string” in an athletic competition situation. In football, if the star quarterback gets injured during a play, the second string is called off the bench to replace him/her. A “Second String Friend” is essentially benched until needed, if ever.

Synonyms: Plan B, Second Choice, Secondary Friend, Benched Until Needed

1) n. Former Secretary of State and National Security Advisor to Presidents Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford.

2) n. The politician who, combined with german rocket scientist Verner von Braun, was the inspiration for the character 'Dr. Strangelove,' featured in the Stanley Kubric movie of the same name. (ie-to economize on stereotypical german movie characters by combining them together, and hoping people will recognize at least one of them.)

3) p. A skillful and adroit diplomat with a contrived accent.

4) n. The first diplomat to demonstrate that the secret to successful diplomacy is to mumble and speak softly to the extent that nobody can really understand what you are saying. Hence, lending whatever you say to multiple interpretations, some of which are positive.

5) sp. The Nixon cabinet executive who initially suggested that a Howard Hunt and G. Gordon Liddy recruit a bunch of imbeciles to break into Daniel Elsberg's Psychiatrists office, causing the watergate scandal, and ultimately ending Nixon's term as president.

6) The first Secretary of State to wear clip-on suspenders.

7) p. Any paunchy, middle aged man who is able to have sex with attractive female celebrities based on his status with the liberal media establishment.