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Similar to hate-fucking, but involves you and your junk only.
Karyn is a self-loather who has to hateurbate in the morning before she showers and goes to work.
by the hateurbater March 01, 2010
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Apr 27 Word of the Day
A horoscope so bad that it strikes fear into the heart of the reader, rendering them unable take action or make a decision on anything or to even leave the house. This is caused by a paralyzing fear that those actions or decisions may cause the predictions to come true.
After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.

Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
by Edward Albee Deavers April 28, 2011
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2
Masturbating to someone you find attractive, but has unredeeming qualities to you personally.
Hateurbate: I hateurbated so hard to that beautiful idiot Sarah Palin last night.
by Coch0026 May 25, 2014
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