Bunch of scallies who made a few million quid then pissed it up the wall. Revolutionised indie, rock and dance music in the process. Also introduced ecstasy to the north of England.

It’s an acronym standing for Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing. It’s usually used to describe embarrassment at being unable to remember someone (CRAFT moment); going onstage as the lead in the latest theatrical performance and your mind goes completely blank (CRAFT situation); the next morning after a night when you got pissed as a fart and woke up in bed cuddling a traffic cone and a string of fairy lights wound round your prick.

"Happy Monday" is a weekly internationally distributed email based newsletter full of breasts that keep you Happy on Monday’s.

It's subscribers belong to "The Kingdom Of Happy Monday" - a delightful and wonderful place, headed by King Monday and his loyal band of sub editorial merry men - "The Tittie Committee".

According to legend, on thy 8th day God created the Boob. And God saw that it was good, but lonely. So on thy 9th day, God created another. And it was...awesome. He then made sure King Monday took control of Boobies worldwide given his great appreciation and knowledge of them to spread the joy to the people of the Kingdom.

Why Happy Monday? It's simple - don't hate Mondays! It's one seventh of your life! If you die when you're 70, that means you spent 10 whole years of your life complaining that it's Monday...and that just won't do.

So thanks to Happy Monday, subscribers don’t complain anymore - instead riding into their week with a sunny disposition after learning to spend one seventh of their lives being truly happy, giddy and occasionally taught to be a better person.

Apparently, a woman's biggest annoyance is having a man talk to her chest all night. On the other hand, a man's biggest annoyance is seeing boobs he can't touch.

Happy Monday aims to help men learn to maintain eye contact.

Lots of Love and Boobies.
Subscribe to: friend@happymonday.com.au

A greeting you give someone probably early on on a Monday morning inviting a positive response, touched with a sense of irony, designed to uplift and invoke a sense of joy in what is the first day of a five day week.

excessively cheerful office workers with overly earnest or maternal natures

An Adjective Meaning very Happy and Giddy.