hacademic, adj.: of professorial prose that is prolix or abstruse or turgid or all of the above; impenetrable to the rational mind and deafening to the inner ear; n.: an author of same, one who published when he should have perished.

It’s an acronym standing for Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing. It’s usually used to describe embarrassment at being unable to remember someone (CRAFT moment); going onstage as the lead in the latest theatrical performance and your mind goes completely blank (CRAFT situation); the next morning after a night when you got pissed as a fart and woke up in bed cuddling a traffic cone and a string of fairy lights wound round your prick.