When you fucked grandpa did he tell you that he loved you
Did he hold you till the sun did rise
and did he look into your eyes
and ask you to felate him
and stick a finger or two in his ass

He seems like a total asshole
Grandpa is a total fucking asshole
Who would ever want a dirty greasy finger in his ass
he rubs his dick in broken glass

when you fucked grandpa did he kiss you soft and tender
did he tie your hands behind your head
and was it on your mother's bed

and this is stupid man! I can't believe you'd have sex with your own grandfather. I mean you guys are related! Whats he gonna do, take out his false teeth and just leave them on the side of your bed? Man, he likes to fuck you up the bottom, and grandma would come in and watch, and masturbate, and cum all over the place, and this is stupid! I hate you all! I'm not even gonna have sex with my mom tonight! Man, this is stupid! I hate you!

After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.

Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.

He rubs his dick in broken glass.